tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 9, 2010 12:05am-1:05am EDT
♪ [ female announcer ] mix it. match it. make it yours. the new mcbistro chicken sandwich. choose a juicy, all white meat chicken breast... crispy or grilled. choose a sauce. feeling adventurous? try the new spicy jalapeno salsa. add crispy bacon for a bit more. all on a bakery style wheat roll with white cheddar cheese. the new mcbistro chicken sandwich at mcdonald's. the simple joy of choice. and finally tonight, a
controversial verdict in what legal experts have called california's most racially charged case since the beating of rodney king. prosecutors sought a murder conviction against a white transit police officer in the fatal shooting of a 22-year-old unarmed black man. oscar grant was lying on his stomach when the officer shot him. the man was convicted today of the far lesser count of involuntary manslaughter, which carried a two to four-year sentence. tonight, local leaders are calling for calm. that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> dick: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: chris rock. you set the record for best entrance ever, i think, right there. >> i'm trying. the economy is bald, you never know when i might have to give a
lap dance. >> jimmy: obama called mcchrystal back to washington today. he had to meet with him during the world cup game this morning. >> he does so at great perns sacrifice to himself and his family. >> goal! >> jimmy: ashley greene. bentley and rolls royce owner's manual. >> it's near and dear to his heart. i totally forgot about it. i thought you would sign it, too. >> jimmy: stop sending ashley [ bleep ]. the bachelor, jake pavelka and his fiance vie yen gha have broken up. when a man got down on one knee and asked a woman to marry him and then did it again so they could get the reverse camera angle and then again for the closeup and the reverse on the closeup, it meant something. ♪ i got your days ♪ i got your days ♪ i got you on my time
>> "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with chris rock, from "eclipse," ashley greene, and music from minus the bear. you know, my brothers and i got our families together at olive garden the other night. c'mon pass a breadstick to your favorite uncle. ohhhh!!! ohhhh!!! we had a ball. announcer: try olive garden's two new parmesan polenta crusted dishes. sauteed chicken breasts topped with a golden parmesan crust. or try our tender steak medallions. both with mezzaluna ravioli filled with four italian cheeses in our creamy alfredo. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. you know, these kids are growing up a lot like we did... yeah, around family. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family. when pain keeps you up, nothing is proven to help you fall asleep faster
>> dicky: and now, tell you what -- here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, my name's jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for -- hey, you know, we have power tonight, which is good. last night we had an electrical problem so i had to shoot the show on my laptop. i didn't have to do that, but i chose to do that. it looked like a sex video, to be honest. only instead of paris hilton, i was with seth rogen, and -- and there was no sex, but tonight we have cameras and sound and sex and everything, it's -- almost like a real television show.
chris rock, ashley greene and minus the bear will be with us tonight. and -- [ cheers and applause ] we're going to try very hard to enjoy ourselves despite some terrible news. i hope -- i hope this is not the first you're hearing about it because this is not the way you want to find something like this out. but the bachelor, jake pavelka and his fiancée vienna have broken up. i know, it hit me pretty hard, too. it's true, though. jake's publicist confirmed the split, asking for privacy at this time. of course. [ laughter ] no one cherished their privacy like jake and vienna. there they are. jake told "people" magazine he broke up with vienna because she was jealous of the attention he was getting. vienna says she broke up with jake because they haven't been intimate in months. you know, when i was a kid, when a man got down on one knee and
asked a woman to marry him, and then did it again so they could get the reverse camera angle, and then again for the closeup and the reverse on the closeup, it meant something. and i guess it doesn't anymore. >> i have never been in love like this. i am so in love with vienna. right now, we're just having so much fun loving each other. it's like a fairy tale every day. she's my life partner. she's my life mate. she makes me want to be a better person. too squash all of the rumors, we are still together. more in love every day. >> my heart knew that, you know, by us going to marry him one day. i can't wait to marry him. >> it was great to finally say, i love you. there's no doubt in my mind that we'll be married. >> jimmy: well, that's -- by the way, that guy could be flying your plane. that's maybe the worst news ever. i think he's going to be okay.
i think jake will land on his feet and vienna is going to land on her sausages and it will be fine. meanwhile, another relationship falling apart. president obama and general stanley mcchrystal calling it quits. according to the general, they haven't been intimate in months, so -- [ laughter ] mcchrystal was the commanding general in afghanistan. he was relieved of his duties today because of negative comments he and his staff made about president obama and his staff in a story for "rolling stone." that's the "rolling stone." i always -- never insult the commander in chief in the lady gaga machine gun boots issue of "rolling stone." no good can ever come out of it. obama called mcchrystal back to washington today. he had to meet with him during the world cup game. mcchrystal offered his resignation, the president accepted that. and then the president stepped outside to meet the press. >> general petraeus and i were able to spend some time together this morning to discuss the way forward. i'm extraordinarily grateful that he's agreed to serve in this new capacity. should be clear to everybody he
does so at great personal sacrifice to himself and to his family. >> goal! >> jimmy: it was an exciting game, in fairness. [ applause ] for soccer. so -- mcchrystal has been replaced by general david petraeus and he was also sentenced to six months in the presidential mom jeans. the military is tough. you don't screw around. very -- an exciting result at the world cup this morning. landon donovan scored in what they call extended time, that's at the very end of the game, to lead the u.s. to a 1-0 win over algeria. that means the u.s. team advances to the next round, and this is important, because as you know, the country that wins the world cup gets to occupy the country of its choice and enslave its citizens. donovan plays for the galaxy here in l.a., and when he scored, everyone at a bar near here in santa monica went nuts with the exception of one terrified patron.
>> this is what happened when the u.s. scored the winning goal and england secured a victory at the same time. >> jimmy: i just -- i came in here to go to the bathroom. why is everyone yelling, it's 7:00 in the morning! in case you missed it, this is from the u.s. game today. it's our world cup play of the day. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. should we look at that again in slow motion or -- you're good? in other sports news, at wimbledon today, an american named john isner and a french player named nicolas mahut set the record for the longest match ever. ten hours. and they're still not done. they're in the fifth set. i don't even have sex for ten hours. that is -- they started playing
yesterday, then had to postpone because it got dark. they played all day today and again had to postpone because it got dark. and so they will start again tomorrow and try to finish the match. by the time they finish, wimbledon will have been over for six months, so -- [ applause ] lady gaga is -- she's in the news every day for a ridiculous outfit. today, this is what she wore going through heathrow airport in london. how can she get through airport security wearing that and i have to check my shampoo bottle? but -- unfortunately it's hard to balance in 12-inch platform boots and lady gaga fell down. i tell you something, she never lost her dignity. this is pretty wonderful. this is an ad for a hospital in virginia. a real hospital that might possibly want to think about changing its name. >> contractions are 60 seconds apart. >> this one needs an epidural. >> ice chips. ice chips.
>> this is no way to operate a hospital. be respected. be relaxed. be yourself. fauquier health. >> jimmy: your mother's health, too. [ applause ] guillermo, would you ever go to a hospital like that? >> yes. >> jimmy: you would? you would go to fauquier health? >> only when i'm drunk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: one more thing. last night, abc debuted a new reality game show called "downfall." have you seen the promos for this? contestants can win prizes by answering trivia questions, but the prizes are on a conveyor belt. if they can't answer the questions in time, the prizes fall off a building and smash to the ground. it's just one of the many reasons other countries hate us. but it's fun to watch.
and the premice is so compelling they're actually working it into other shows here at abc. >> do not spit on me. >> this little boy's behavior is appalling, to say the least. >> oh! >> mom clearly wasn't up for doing any discipline. i mean, she was losing patience, so i decided to step in. you do not bite your mother. >> jimmy: well, that's -- i bet you he'll behave from now on. [ applause ] we have a good show tonight for you. from "twilight," ashley greene is here. we have music from minus the bear. and we'll be right back with chris rock, so stick around. [ male announcer ] there's a whole new way
to travel in comfort and style... presenting the new toyota avalon. for a ride that's jet-smooth! it's got reclining rear seats! and such a quiet cabin! ♪ bluetooth wireless audio makes every trip a delight! ♪ the new toyota avalon... comfort is back. ♪ hi, you ready to order? [ indistinct conversations ] uh, yohoo?! sorry, big win tonight. [ sizzling, conversations stop ] thanks steve. [ sizzling ] works every time. we'll have that. [ male announcer ] come to applebee's today for new sizzling entrees starting at $8.99. try the spicy asian shrimp, steak and cheese, or chicken with queso blanco from only $8.99! fresh flavor never sounded so good. only at applebee's.
>> jimmy: well, hello there. we're back. on the show tonight, from "twilight eclipse," ashley greene is here. later from seattle, this is their fourth album, it's called "omni," minus the bear from the bud light stage. tomorrow night, by the way, adam sandler will be here tomorrow night. we will have music from drake. and we will chat with drake, as well. and then on friday night, tom cruise and sublime with rome. so please join us for those new shows. [ applause ] thank you. our first guest tonight is an exceedingly funny person. he is an emmy and grammy award winner with a smile like an angel and the eyes of the devil. you can see him and his very funny friends in the new movie "grown ups," opening friday.
please welcome to chris rock. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're a real showman. >> oh! woo! i made it. >> jimmy: you know what, you set the record for best entrance ever, i think, right there. >> i'm trying, man. >> jimmy: you had a great entrance the last time you were here. that was -- that was amazing. >> economy's bad, you never know when i might have to give a lap dance. you just don't know. >> jimmy: and i think it worked. i see something -- there's some action -- >> you owe me $20 now. i like my 20. >> jimmy: you were here a couple of weeks ago with adam sandler, david spade, rob schneider, kevin james.
real losers, a bunch of them. >> yes, yes, they all owe me money. >> jimmy: you must be glad to be rid of them. i mean, really, at a certain point, you make a movie, you do a whole promotional tour, and enough already, right? >> we're having fun. i would think -- don't get me wrong, when we first booked, you know, the tour, you're like, [ bleep ]. four weeks of schneider? but -- [ laughter ] but it's -- it's weird. do you guys know schneider? but it's been good. nobody's choked schneider, or kicked spade or -- >> jimmy: that's good. >> or talked bad behind sandler's back, you know, sandler's -- he hired us all, so we can't whoop his ass. >> jimmy: you can't do anything like that. that's an interesting thing, that weird thing. adam really is, like, your boss. you guys seem like a bunch of friends -- >> he's kind of the boss. >> jimmy: he is, i guess. >> yeah, you know, and -- it cool until he wants some coffee
or, you know, wants his shoes shines or something and we all got to look at each other, you go? you get the left shoe, i'll get the right one. >> jimmy: how long have you known adam sandler? >> close to probably, like, 25 years. >> jimmy: wow, 25 years? how did you guys meet? >> um, we were both giving out lap dances. >> jimmy: uh-huh. giving them away for free. >> his stripper name was chalky and i was darky. >> jimmy: that's nice. chalky and darky, huh? >> tag team strippers. no. i met sandler at the comic strip about, you know, the old comic strip in new york, and i don't know, he just, one night i had been in l.a., i come back and there's this new guy and he was on on a saturday night, which is odd, because you, if you're a new guy, you have to work up to a saturday. but he was on saturday right away. so, and he was young, so i was supposed to hate him. >> jimmy: right, yeah.
>> man, i had to, you know, mop the floors to get on on a saturday. and he's up there and i listened to the jokes and he was so funny, and i'm like, man, this guy is cool. and we've been friends since. >> jimmy: there's not a lot of friendliness in comedy clubs. you go into a place and there are guys, groups that are friends, but most everyone is very unhappy to see the other person do well. >> yeah, pretty much. >> jimmy: yeah, it's -- >> i mean, you know what it is, you're unhappy for guys that look like you to do well. so, two fat guys will hate each other in a club. because only hiring one fat guy. and the blonds will be mad and the black comics will be like hating each other. so -- it's like musicians, i'm sure, the saxophone players hate each other, right? >> jimmy: i don't know -- >> there's only one drummer. they hate each other. you nope, you never see a band with five drummers, just -- >> jimmy: our drummer's never
generated that much emotion to actually hate another human being. right, jonathan? even now, none of my thoughts are registering. >> is he deaf? >> jimmy: it's not so much deaf, it's dense, more than anything. right? >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: it's the hair that protects him from any of my jokes. it's okay. it will be fine. we put a sneeze guard around him, like the sizzler. >> you don't like the show? oh, you're a lopez man, i get it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't blame him. it's not mine, either, to be honest with you. >> he likes ellen. he's an ellen guy. >> jimmy: you grew up in brooklyn. i did, too. >> what part? >> jimmy: i grew up in mill basin. >> you grew up in a clean part? >> jimmy: pretty clean, middle class. >> not my neighborhood, no. >> jimmy: yours wasn't? >> no -- >> jimmy: the word sty in was in there.
>> maybe you owned a -- >> jimmy: no, my dad didn't own anything. no, he barely had sneakers with a label on them. we had no money, but we lived in a decent neighborhood, i guess. >> god bless you. >> jimmy: thank you. i wanted to ask you, because not too many people are aware of this, but the fourth of july in brooklyn in the '70s was terrifying, first of all. >> it still, when i'm in new york on the fourth of july, it's scary. >> jimmy: is it? i don't think it's as scary as it used to be. >> well, giuliani got rid of a lot of people. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, he had the cops shoot whoever was acting up, pretty much. and some that wasn't acting up. >> jimmy: that's what happens. cast the net. >> i was thinking about acting up until i saw giuliani get some people shot. i figure i behave myself. >> jimmy: i'm talking about brooklyn. i'm talking about, like the neighborhood in brooklyn. the first 20 minutes of "saving
private ryan." >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: missiling flying by your station wagon. >> yeah, man. people shooting up in the air and somebody always had, like, a real stick of dynamite. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> it's like -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. you're right. [ applause ] we had some kids down the block, big kids, as they were known, who were trying to make their own stick of dynamite and we took the gun powder out of 10,000 fire crackers and poured them into a piece of pvc tubing and they just -- gun powder, we filled this -- we made a bomb, really -- >> yes. i remember those days, man. it's like, are you trying to entertain the block or blow up a dam? >> jimmy: my parents never got me any of the fireworks, though. i would have to search on july 5th through the trash to try to find something that still had -- >> my friends used to go, kind of like smuggle fireworks into new york.
like -- the same way you would smuggle crack or guns or whatever. like -- so, you go to the closest southern state, which is virginia, because it's another world, [ bleep ] is just legal. >> jimmy: yeah, it is. like, nothing's flammable there. >> there's no rules. you can drink poison. you know, so yeah. and so this is how you smuggle fireworks, drugs or guns. you would buy a greyhound bus ticket. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. you buy the fireworks or crack or guns. you get a greyhound bus ticket and you don't really use the ticket for you, you use it to put your suitcase under the bus. and you put your illegal [ bleep ] -- staff -- under the bus and then you and your friends follow the bus to new york city. then when the bus gets to port authority, make sure there's no cops, and you get your bag with your illegal stuff. >> jimmy: that's diabolical. >> that's how --
>> jimmy: that's a great tip, by the way. [ applause ] >> yes. there you go. and that's how drugs and guns are smuggled across america. >> jimmy: this is a great lesson for budding al qaedas out there right now. >> yes, yes. next time you're on that bus, look out. >> jimmy: no smoking on the bus. >> you thought pimps was your only problem. >> jimmy: when you're on the road like this, is it hard on you, as a dad, being away from your family? >> you know, it's -- first of all, the first couple of days, you can't believe you're getting some sleep. >> jimmy: right. >> ah, my kids are gone, all right. i can -- ah, i can get some real rest. not that kid rest with, you know, somebody's foot in your ear. but it is hard. you got to talk to your kids, you try to reprimand them over the phone. you better do that homework or else. else what? you're going to tell leno?
you know, what the hell are you going to do? you're 2,000 miles away. i'm not doing nothing. >> jimmy: yeah, right. and does your wife get upset with you when you are off yourself and she has to take care of the whole family? >> well, wives don't really need an excuse to be upset. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's a little -- >> weren't you married before? >> jimmy: it's a jumping off point. >> did you need something? really? a reason? i'd like a reason. >> jimmy: your wife and your mom both wrote books. >> yes, they did. >> jimmy: were you excited about that? >> i mean, i'm happy for them, yes. if they're happy, i'm happy, you know? they want to write a book, great. they want to fight dogs, fine, whatever. i don't, you know -- happy wife, happy life. >> jimmy: did you help them with the books? >> no, not at all. i helped them by being famous enough to get them deals to write books. [ applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's helpful.
>> i'd say i helped out a lot. >> jimmy: again, the movie is called "grown ups," and you guys -- well, you know, but others may not, because this movie has been a little bit under the radar. >> yes, yes. it's like "sex and the city," but if you're a guy, you won't throw up. >> jimmy: did you see that, by the way? >> i haven't. it's weird. the girls, they're so spoiled, makes a brother want to date a black woman. [ laughter ] that's how spoiled the white women are. >> jimmy: you play a guy, you and your buddies, you reunite for a funeral, former basketball coach. there's a funeral and a get together and everybody -- and the families group and the wives get together and the kids get together and lessons are learned. >> lessons are learned and hilarity ensues. >> jimmy: it really does. >> this is the best movie of the summer. it's -- [ applause ]
it's the only movie out in 2d, so -- if, you know, if you like to go to movies and not have a headache when it's over, this is the movie for you. >> jimmy: we have a clip here. "grown ups" opens friday. >> mommy, i want some milk. >> sure, angel. come here. i'll give you a little something. slow down, honey. >> your son is so cute. how old is he? >> oh, he's -- 48 months. >> that's 4. >> yeah. >> jimmy: there you go. it's called "grown ups," opens friday. chris rock, everybody. thank you very much for being here. we'll be right back. ♪
♪ a day once dawned ♪ and it was beautiful ♪ ♪ so, look, see the sights ♪ that you learned [ male announcer ] at&t covers 97% of all americans. ♪ this summer, get the exclusive samsung strive for just $19.99. only from at&t. it's all that people notice. i didn't even think that was possible. [ woman ] i know, but there it is. [ sniffing ] febreze you plug in to the wall. [ male announcer ] from febreze comes noticeables. freshness you'll notice or your money back.
a nourishing treatment into a conditioner. new dove daily treatment conditioner is better than a top salon conditioner at repairing severely damaged hair from the inside. it also leaves your hair amazingly soft and smooth. new dove daily treatment conditioners. it also leaves your hair amazingly soft and smooth. and people like what we're saying.alue. about how fusion is projected to hold its resale value better than camry. and has better quality than accord. as a matter of fact, people like what we're saying so much, ford fusion is now the 2010 motor trend car of the year. the fusion, from ford. get in...and drive one. stop it. hello? you spotted a million dollar accounting error that no one else noticed. that was pretty sweet. but you did have eight layers of sweet crunchy back up. what can i say? you're the man. or -- you know, the little dude. that's me.
[ female announcer ] stop mid-morning hunger with kellogg's® frosted mini-wheats® cereal. an excellent source of fiber from 100% whole grain that helps you stay full, so you can stay focused. also, try chocolate little bites. so, how'd the meeting go? outstanding, i wowed them with my chocolate chip center. at olive garden the other night. c'mon pass a breadstick to your favorite uncle. ohhhh!!! ohhhh!!! we had a ball. announcer: try olive garden's two new parmesan polenta crusted dishes. sauteed chicken breasts topped with a golden parmesan crust. or try our tender steak medallions. both with mezzaluna ravioli filled with four italian cheeses in our creamy alfredo. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. you know, these kids are growing up a lot like we did... yeah, around family. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family.
our next guest is one of the good vampires, some vampires are better than others. you can see her in "the twilight saga: eclipse," opening in theaters next wednesday. please say hello to ashley greene. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how is everything? how are you? >> i can't hear you. >> jimmy: i said, how are you -- >> i'm good! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: calm down. >> that's a warm welcome. >> jimmy: you could potentially sue the makers of "twilight" at the end because you're going to be deaf. >> i'm going deaf. >> jimmy: it's ridiculous. you were here on the primetime show which was on earlier tonight and the screaming was unbelievable. unbelievable. >> it was, i mean, we were all here so it was -- that was pretty, thanks, guys.
that was intense. >> jimmy: who gets the most kind of screaming and craziness of the cast? >> rob, for sure. you know, the last time i was here, we all kind of walked out and said hello to the fans and i was signing things and everyone was being really sweet and all of a sudden i hear -- it goes from screaming to just high pitched hysterical screaming so i turn around, and no doubt, rob is behind me. and i was like -- so i started doing it. i was like, oh, my god, it's rob! and -- >> jimmy: he must love that. >> he was like, do you want me to sign your hand? i was like, sure. i posted a picture of it on the internet, said i was going to sell it on ebay, the website crashed. >> jimmy: did it really? you crashed ebay? >> no, the website that i posted the picture on crashed apparently. >> jimmy: oh, really, wow. >> all my friends were like, we can't even get on the site. that's the impact. >> jimmy: it's really a trail of devastation that you believe behind.
>> i'm sorry. it's jealousy. >> jimmy: you brought some of your fan mail here, and -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: tell us what's going on here. what is this? >> that is -- i feel so bad because i kind of forgot about it. but someone sent me, usually it's pictures and letters. someone sent me a bentley -- >> jimmy: yeah, a bentley and rolls royce owner's manual. >> it's -- i was like, are they going to send the car next? that did not come. >> jimmy: featuring pictures like this one. >> it's so riveting. so -- that's the kind of fan mail i get. >> jimmy: was there a note with this or anything? >> well, apparently it is very near and dear to this person's heart and i'm totally a jerk. i totally forgot about it. i hoped that you could sign it, too. >> he probably -- he wants you to sign this? >> yeah, he wanted me to sign it and send it back. >> jimmy: really. and he gave you a fedex envelope with his own information here -- >> so i could show up.
>> jimmy: really, you should call the police, because this is -- this is worse than, like, a threatening letter. so, what -- what -- are you going to write something in it? >> yeah, well, i'm making you sign it, too. >> jimmy: i'm going to sign it also. i'm going to write, "stop sending ashley [ bleep ]." >> this is a bad idea. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: that will be a nice memento for him in the sanitarium where he lives. >> his name is ken. >> jimmy: okay. sorry. >> so long. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. and why? why should be another question. >> you leave this poor man alone. >> jimmy: you have to write your name on there -- >> i'm going to write something really heartfelt. >> jimmy: really?
why? >> because i feel bad. >> jimmy: well, no reason to feel bad. >> this was something important to him. and now he's like, that jerk didn't send it back. it's been a couple of months. >> jimmy: if he sends you the car, then you can be excited and write him a really nice note. >> that's true. send me the car. >> jimmy: that's weird. that is weird. there's some kind of war going on between "twilight" fans and "harry potter" fans right now. >> apparently. >> jimmy: why? >> because they are both really passionate. >> jimmy: isn't it possible they could coexist? it seems like -- >> well, you know, i think that some people like very hot forever young vampires that drive really cool cars and some like -- >> jimmy: or these. >> and some people like wizards that get old and ride on brooms, so -- it just depends on what you're into. >> jimmy: they get old. so you are not a "harry potter" fan then, i assume. >> i'm a little -- >> jimmy: you are anti-"harry
potter." >> i'm not. >> jimmy: why do you hate "harry potter" so much. what did he ever do to you? >> they are taking half the people that could be our fans, okay? so -- >> jimmy: it really is one of the most ridiculous things. [ applause ] it's like -- i mean, it's like, it could turn out like biggie and tupac. somebody could get killed at the end of this thing. you must be careful. >> thank you for that. >> jimmy: you know taekwondo, true? >> i do. >> jimmy: why? >> to defend myself. >> jimmy: against the guy with the thing? >> for things like this. no, i -- i think it's probably because my brother got into it, honestly, and i tried to outdo my brother and it never worked out. case in point, when we were doing taekwondo, i thought it was hot stuff, really competitive, and i couldn't spar the girls, i would spar the boys because i beat the girls up. >> jimmy: really? >> i did. and i even -- this guy that i had a crush on, we called him spit fire, and -- >> jimmy: how old was spit fire? >> i don't know, we were
probably 7, 9-ish. >> jimmy: 7-year-old spit fire. >> because he was so fast. so we called him spit fire. i gave him a bloody nose and lip so, the romance did not work out. >> jimmy: you beat spit fire up? >> i did. >> jimmy: well, i tell you something. those "harry potter" actors better watch out, because -- >> yeah, see? watch it. >> jimmy: they would wind up in spit fire's boat. thank you for being here, i'm sure the movie is going to be a huge success. ashley greene, everybody. "twilight saga: eclipse" is in theaters on wednesday. we'll be right back with minus the bear. [ male announcer ] learn about a free trial offer from abilify. if you're taking an antidepressant and still feel depressed, one option your doctor may consider is adding abilify. abilify treats depression in adults when added to an antidepressant. some people had symptom improvement
in as early as one to two weeks after adding abilify. now with the abilify (me+) program, your first two weeks of abilify can be free. abilify is not for everyone. call your doctor if your depression worsens or you have unusual changes in behavior, or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. elderly dementia patients taking abilify have an increased risk of death or stroke. call your doctor if you have high fever, stiff muscles and confusion to address a possible life-threatening condition. or if you have uncontrollable muscle movements, as these could become permanent. high blood sugar has been reported with abilify and medicines like it. in some cases, extreme high blood sugar can lead to coma or death. other risks include decreases in white blood cells, which can be serious, dizziness upon standing, seizures, trouble swallowing, and impaired judgment or motor skills. adding abilify has made a difference for me. [ male announcer ] visit abilifyoffer.com for your free trial offer. and ask your doctor about the risks and benefits of adding abilify.
subway footlongs... are just $5. [ male announcer ] score big with the $5 footlong sub made just the way you love it. throw on some mustard... a little bit of mayo... black olives... maybe a couple jalapenos. i like a little kick. subway. where winners eat. some washed mirrors with soap. others, dove. ( water running, gasp ) soap leaves soap scum. you can't see it on your skin, but you can see it here. dove is different. skin is soft, smooth, soap-scum free. and then there's most complete. like what you get from centrum ultra men's. the most complete multivitamin for men. it has antioxidants to help support your immunity and nutrients like vitamin d for your colon. centrum ultra men's.
and nutrients like vitamin d for your colon. at olive garden the other night. c'mon pass a breadstick to your favorite uncle. ohhhh!!! ohhhh!!! we had a ball. announcer: try olive garden's two new parmesan polenta crusted dishes. sauteed chicken breasts topped with a golden parmesan crust. or try our tender steak medallions. both with mezzaluna ravioli filled with four italian cheeses in our creamy alfredo. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. you know, these kids are growing up a lot like we did... yeah, around family. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family.
my team is going to come busting through that door. [ door opens ] ♪ here we go. right now! [ guys ] go! go! go! go! johnson, secure the pizza puffs in the kitchen. burke! i want a recon team on that brunette in the corner. and i'll commandeer the bud light. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just right taste of bud light. here we go. hey, you guys got any ice? try clean makeup. lightweight coverage made for your skin type. for normal skin, oil control, and clean for sensitive skin. it's makeup that works for you 'cause it's made for you. easy, breezy, beautiful covergrl. at olive garden the other night. c'mon pass a breadstick to your favorite uncle. ohhhh!!! ohhhh!!! we had a ball. announcer: try olive garden's two new parmesan polenta crusted dishes. sauteed chicken breasts topped with a golden parmesan crust. or try our tender steak medallions. both with mezzaluna ravioli filled with four italian cheeses
in our creamy alfredo. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. you know, these kids are growing up a lot like we did... yeah, around family. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family. ♪ "when you're smiling" by louis armstrong ♪oh, when you're smiling'... ♪when you're smilin' ♪the whole world smiles with you ♪ ♪yes, when you laughin'...
♪ what you want what you need tell me my name tell me my name ♪ ♪ again, again again, again just yell out my name baby ♪ ♪ i got your nights i got your nights ♪ ♪ i got your days i got your days ♪ ♪ i got you on i got you on my time ♪ ♪ i got your nights i got your nights ♪ ♪ i got your days i got your days ♪ ♪ i got you on i got you on ♪ ♪ you taste like sweet wine we are magnified ♪ ♪ the sweat rolls down your thigh were making moves so blind ♪ ♪ it's what you want it's what you need i'm just the same baby ♪
to me like an old love that you know every inch of ♪ ♪ when i feel you start to go take it slow ♪ ♪ till your body's saying more baby ♪ ♪ i got your nights i got your nights ♪ ♪ i got your days i got your days ♪ ♪ i got you on i got you on my time ♪ ♪ i got your nights i got your nights ♪ ♪ i got your days i got your days ♪ ♪ i got you on i got you on my time ♪ ♪ gonna be on my time my time ♪ ♪ my time ♪ i got your nights i got your days ♪ ♪ i got your days i got you on ♪ ♪ i got you on
at olive garden the other night. c'mon pass a breadstick to your favorite uncle. ohhhh!!! ohhhh!!! we had a ball. announcer: try olive garden's two new parmesan polenta crusted dishes. sauteed chicken breasts topped with a golden parmesan crust. or try our tender steak medallions. both with mezzaluna ravioli filled with four italian cheeses in our creamy alfredo. plus unlimited salad and breadsticks. you know, these kids are growing up a lot like we did... yeah, around family. announcer: olive garden. when you're here, you're family.
can see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.net -- once again, minus the bear! good night. ♪ ♪ and i'm in the wind i am going to let it take me where it may ♪ ♪ maybe it lifts me to new orleans or the dark streets of l.a. ♪ ♪ i'm in the wind i am in the wind ♪ ♪ and if i fall to where you're standing will you tend to me ♪ ♪ and i'm in the wind i am in the wind ♪ ♪ and if i end up in your arms
will you help me stay ♪ ♪ i want your comfort for the evening i need to pause and get my head ♪ ♪ hold me down baby or the wind will catch me out again ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm in the wind and i don't know how long the breeze will let me stay ♪ ♪ maybe your kiss maybe your kiss will calm the weather down and let me wait ♪